Chapter+15

SNAP! The plank cracked and splintered into tiny little pieces. Jamie reached out, trying to grab the other side ledge, he did but only by a fraction. "NOOOOOOOOOO!" Screamed Amelia. Jamie began trying to pull himself up. Beads of sweat were dripping on his head, his muscles were as tense as ever. Amelia, afraid the other wood would snap took a couple of steps back, sprinted towards the crack and jumped over the wide gap. Jamie was still using all his strength just to hang on, scraping his leg up and down the cliff below him, trying to find a foot hold.

Amelia was trying to move as quick as possible without putting her brother off balance. He had now pulled his chin just above the ground, his sister was pulling him up aswell. Spirits then poured round the corner of a house carrying a very limp body of the Ancester bellowing out screams of horror. "If we want to save our Ancester," whispered Amelia into Jamies ear,"we need to find that power that they want." She was right, the spirits were running right for them. they both scurried off. The Ancester was infact not injured at all ,she was actually faking all of it.

The Brother and Sister were running as fast as they could. They had found a new found urge to run. The spirits were still hot on their tales untill the Ancester woke up and unleashed a force that blew all the spirits away. The Ancester ran after Jamie and Amelia. They had stopped at a very tall abandoned house. The Ancester pionted at the door and said,"It is in there."

They all entered the house, it was completely silent and dead. If there was a mouse upstairs, it probbaly would have been heard they walked towards the stairs and then!.......

IMPROVMENTS

This is a really good chapter and very well written but there's one thing you could think about, when it says ' " Nooooooooo", screamed Amelia' you could make the 'Nooooooo' into capitals to make it seem louder and more scream-like.

Hope this helps! Louise

Star= You have done really well on this chapter you started it off well and ended it well so well done. Star= You used a mix of short sentences and long sentences to create suspense and tention. Wish= It is very good chapter so there is not much to say you said the brother and sister alot instead of jamie and Amelia but thats it, it was a very good chapter.(Craig)