Chapter+3


 * Fighting Back **

Chapter 3

melia stared at Jamie. Jamie suddenly noticed his sister watching him. 'Don't just stand there!' he yelled. 'Do something!' Amelia looked around for inspiration. She would run to him, but the giant crack was in between them, making it impossible for her to go closer than a ten meter distance. 'What are you waiting for??' cried Jamie. The spirits were closing up on him. 'Well what do you suggest I do, genius?' shouted Amelia. There was a really loud crash and it started to rain. Black clouds filled the sky, blocking all the light. Rain poured down and an immense wind started to blow. Amelia crouched down. She was terrified. 'I wish Jamie could be beside me,' she thought. 'Hold on a second. Why do I want // him //? He would just run off like the big wimp he is.' Amelia stood up. Rain trickled down her face. 'I'm sorry Jamie. But like I said this morning; you are just going to have to fight your own battles for once.' She turned to go, but she heard a strange, yet familiar voice inside her head. 'Are you sure you're doing the right thing?' asked the voice.'Who // are you?' // Amelia said//. // Then she recognized the voice. It was the ancestor. 'You know who I am,' said the voice. 'I repeat; are you sure you're doing the right thing?' Amelia stopped. She turned around. 'Think fast!' she yelled, and lobbed a rock at one of the spirits heads. But to her surprise, it went right through his skull and landed on the ground behind. The spirit // did // however, hear her shout. All the spirits who were ganging up on Jamie spun round and started heading towards Amelia. She turned and ran. She had never run as fast as she did that day. As she ran, she tried to make sense of the whole thing.'Who are you!?' she yelled. Thunder crashed and she saw lightening light up the ground where she had just run.'Ok, ok!' she yelled. 'Not willing to get to know me then? Fine.' Amelia ran for what seemed like hours, and then, just when she was about to stop and give up, she saw a building. It was an old, abandoned church. There was no proof that it was abandoned, but the roofless building was a good sign. Amelia turned a sharp corner, and hid behind the wall. The Spirits whizzed straight past one by one. Amelia panted like a dog. Then she started to cry. she had no idea where she was or what she had to do next. All she knew was that she was lost, and Jamie could be dead and she wouldn't know. She sobbed massive tears, and buried her head in her hands. Then suddenly, she felt a comforting arm around her back. She looked up, but her head started spinning, and the last thing she remembered was darkness.
 * =A= ||

Constructive Critisim
 * Really good dramatic scene; not much to improve at all.

Two stars and a wish [Lewis] Stars: Wish:
 * Good storyline and plot.
 * Good use of describing words.
 * try using different words; instead of sobbed you could have used cried. But other than that it is very good.