chapter+14

Suddenly from behind them they heard a rustling of leaves and Amelia and Jamie both turned to each other with the most worried look on their faces, they started running as fast as they could, only then did they look behind them and saw that it was the ancestor and not the evil spirit which they thought it would be. They waited where they were to catch their breath and also to wait for the ancestor. Once the ancestor had caught up with them Amelia and Jamie both asked the ancestor where they could find this power that the evil spirits wanted. The ancestor said that they had to cross the crack in order to find it. So the siblings said that that was where they were going but they didn't know how to get there without seeing the evil spirits so the ancestor replied "follow me" and the ancestor hurried off.

Amelia and Jamie just started jogging behind the ancestor about five minutes later the ancestor stopped and looked over her shoulder and saw them jogging really slowly behind her, panting like dogs as they had been running and walking around Banchory for ages lately. Once they had caught up with the ancestor they saw the crack and all of the evil spirits guarding it.

The ancestor said that they needed to try and get to the other side of the crack, which by now was huge. They needed to decide how they were going to get across the crack and fast. Suddenly there was a massive BANG and lots of smoke came from one of the shops on the high street. In front of where they were hiding, a big plank of wood fell to the ground. The ancestor just flew out of where they were hiding and shouted at Amelia and Jamie to get across NOW! The brother and sister had to think fast. Jamie ran out from where they were hiding and grabbed the plank of wood Amelia just sat there until she felt safe to move as all of the spirits weren't all cleared from where they were going.

Amelia saw the ancestor turn a corner with all the evil spirits following her and then she was gone. Then the area was without an evil spirit in sight (for the minute anyway) Amelia ran out and just as she stood up Jamie threw the plank of wood over the crack and shouted at Amelia "What are you waiting for?" and Jamie then placed his foot on the plank of wood when suddenly..................

Here is my two stars and a wish for you

Star- I think the end is a great cliff hanger and creates lots of suspense Star- The idea for your chapter is very imaginative Wish- you used Amelia and Jamie a lot you could have used other words e.g. she, he, they and the siblings

Otherwise it is a really good chapter (Caroline)

formatted version

** The Mission to the Other Side ** ** Chapter 14 ** uddenly from behind them they heard a rustling of leaves and Amelia and Jamie both turned to each other with the most worried look on their faces, they started running as fast as they could, only then did they look behind them and saw that it was the ancestor and not the evil spirit which they thought it would be. They waited where they were to catch their breath and also to wait for the ancestor. Once the ancestor had caught up with them Amelia and Jamie both asked the ancestor where they could find this power that the evil spirits wanted. The ancestor said that they had to cross the crack in order to find it. So the siblings said that, that was where they were going but they didn't know how to get there without seeing the evil spirits so the ancestor replied "follow me" and the ancestor hurried off Amelia and Jamie just started jogging behind the ancestor about five minutes later the ancestor stopped and looked over her shoulder and saw them jogging really slowly behind her, panting like dogs as they had been running and walking around Banchory for ages lately. Once they had caught up with the ancestor they saw the crack and all of the evil spirits guarding it. The ancestor said that they needed to try and get to the other side of the crack, which by now was huge. They needed to decide how they were going to get across the crack and fast. Suddenly there was a massive BANG and lots of smoke came from one of the shops on the high street. In front of where they were hiding, a big plank of wood fell to the ground. The ancestor just flew out of where they were hiding and shouted at Amelia and Jamie to get across NOW! The brother and sister had to think fast. Jamie ran out from where they were hiding and grabbed the plank of wood Amelia just sat there until she felt safe to move as all of the spirits weren't all cleared from where they were going.Amelia saw the ancestor turn a corner with all the evil spirits following her and then she was gone. Then the area was without an evil spirit in sight (for the minute anyway) Amelia ran out and just as she stood up Jamie threw the plank of wood over the crack and shouted at Amelia "What are you waiting for?" and Jamie then placed his foot on the plank of wood when suddenly..................
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