Chapter24

And suddenly a spirit jumped out at them. the ancestor killed the spirit. "that was close" creid jamie. the ancestor said "we need to get moving". they explored the house and found some food. they ate the food and drank some drips of water from the tap. Amelia went upstaires and jamie followed. "theres beds here" shouted Amelia". jamie said "we can sleep here for the night" the ancestor said "only until morning". when night fell they quickly looked for candles. "over here" the ancester demanded "i found candles". they light the candles and went upstairs to get ready for bed. they got in to bed and strated talking about whats happened. the ancestor said "get to sleep we'll be getting up early in the morning. everyone fell asleep.

EDITED

And suddenly a spirit jumped out at them. The ancestor killed the spirit. "That was close" cried Jamie. The ancestor said "We need to get moving." They explored the house and found some food. They ate the food and drank some drips of water from the tap. Amelia went upstairs and Jamie followed. "There's beds here" shouted Amelia. Jamie said "We can sleep here for the night." The ancestor said "Only until morning." When night fell they quickly looked for candles. "Over here," the ancestor demanded "I found candles". They lit the candles and went upstairs to get ready for bed. They got in to bed and started talking about whats happened. The ancestor said "Get to sleep, we'll be getting up early in the morning." Everyone fell asleep.

CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM
 * Try to include some more detail because at the moment it is very plain and simple ("to get ready for bed. They got in bed....")
 * Your part of the story is to try and wrap everything together nicely so mabye try to give the reader some answers (not all of them though or else people writing the other chapters have nothing to write about)
 * Mabye try to include more of the conversation when they start talking about whats happened and mabye write about what they should do tomorrow e.g they could think of a plan to trick the spirits and get the book back.

Hope this will help when you come to editing it! Abigail