Chapter+4

She woke up about 5 minutes later to find herself all alone in the middle of the church floor and she was as cold as an ice block. She had no recollection of who put their arm on her before. She was very confused also then remembered about all of the spirits chasing her but then suddenly contemplated about Jamie. "Where on Earth has he gone?" she wondered. So she got up and ran out of the church then screamed Jamie's name. Just then, she saw Jamie running away from the spirits. Suddenly he just caught sight of her in the corner of his eye and said "what are you waiting for?" "The right moment I guess," she screamed back. Just then she found the right moment and grabbed jamie and ran into the forest. "Phew that was close," panted Amelia. They gathered their strength and tried to get out of sight from the spirits but they heard a voice calling them and started to walk towards it. Amelia shouted "Hello is anyone there," but they didn't hear it again.....

Constructive criticism
 * This is an amazing chapter. The only thing I think you could improve on is not using "and" so much. You could try to use: also, as well as, then, as well as this or others. Well done!
 * You have used thought more than once (suddenly thought about Jamie. "where on earth has he gone?" she thought. Try and use another word like wondered. Really good chapter though. Well done!
 * Maybe you could make it longer too. Good chapter!

i see exactly what you were meaning about "thought" and i tried to change what i could thankyou for the critsism because it helps me see what i can work on THANKS.
 * thoughts about critisism:**

Two Stars and a Wish (Ella)
 * Good use of similes
 * Nice cliffhanger at the end
 * I think some punctuation has been missed out.

** In the middle of the church ** Chapter 4 he woke up about 5 minutes later to find herself all alone in the middle of the church floor and she was as cold as an ice block. She had no recollection of who put their arm on her before. She was very confused. Then she remembered about all of the spirits chasing her but then suddenly contemplated about Jamie. "Where on Earth has he gone?" she wondered. So she got up and ran out of the church and then screamed Jamie’s name. Just then, she saw Jamie running away from the spirits. He just caught sight of her in the corner of his eye and said "what are you waiting for?” "The right moment I guess," she screamed back. Just then she found the right moment. Then grabbed Jamie and sprinted into the forest. "Phew! That was close," panted Amelia. They gathered their strength and tried to get out of sight from the spirits. They heard a voice calling them but who? They started to walk towards the voice. Amelia shouted "Hello is anyone there?" but they didn't hear it again.
 * S ||