Chapter+17

Jamie reappeared. His whole body was shaking violently. Amelia and the ancestor couldn't be more grateful to know that he was back, and safe. "That was too close", hissed the ancestor, "I told you to stay together". Jamie had learnt his lesson. There was no time to be silly right now. He shoved his deep brown hair to the side in a messy heap. He saw his reflection in Amelia's strickingly bright eyes. He was scared.

Running away from the evil spirits had become like an ongoing game of hide and seek. Everybody was fed up and the only thing that they could do was find this power and give it to the spirits. It sounded simple, but even someone as wise as the ancestor couldn't work out what to do.

After minutes of recovery and thinking the ancestor had come up with a plan. Having hopefully passed down her wisdom to Amelia and Jamie, she put her faith in the brother and sister and agreed to risk her existence so that they could hopefully get closer to conquering the spirits and getting the power to them.

Already she loved them, she would do anything for them. They had only been together for a short amount of time but that was the kind of person she was. Like Amelia, she was very empathetic and clearly felt for the siblings. She decided the right thing to do was help them. Even if it cost her life.

The ancestor decided to distract the spirits so that they could search for the power. She had been a cunning escape artist in her earlier years, so this came easily to her. The spirits were very fast creatures, but not the brightest. The ancestor was going to lead them somewhere far away, taking a long time, giving Amelia and Jamie longer to search.

With the evil spirits off their mind, Jamie and Amelia started to look for the power. What had lead them into this house? Questions flooded her mind. She became a little light headed, but continued down her path of secrets.

She was off in a world of dreams at this point, so much had been going on recently, she was so confused. It was like her brain was refusing to take in any more information. Jamie was being ingnored and she wasn't thinking straight.

When Amelia came back to reality, she lesiurely turned a sharp corner and noticed a book, centuries old, laying open on the dusty floorboards. "Jamie?" Amelia whimpered. She heard no reply. The pages started turning yet nothing was there. "JAMIE?" This time the reply was a soft whisper. She knew Jamie was in trouble.............

Star- You have used a mixture of sentence structure which is very effective and more dramatic. Star- You have used amazing descriptive words and similes which make this story come to life. Wish- Nothing really needs to be improved except maybe describe what the ancestor did to distract the spirits. By Abigail :)

-Thanks for the feedback! I hope these changes have helped :)